Friday, February 19, 2010

The longing for adventure

It has been 16 days post surgery, and my life is pretty much normal. I am almost 100% despite this protrusion from the left part of my stomach which is where the access post lies beneath the skin. School, has gotten rather boring as of late, leaving me hoping and praying that our professor will be so kind as to just let us go home.

The problem or rather the root of the problem, is I have been in Sacramento stuck here since last July when I came back from comic-con. I need to leave, escape at least to someplace 100miles or more away. This place would have to have no connection or relevancy to me whatsoever. Then I could just be the lazy tourist.

I was thinking lately of all the cool places I have lived that I wouldn't mind going back to. One of those places was Ranchos Palos Verdes. It has a low crime rate, ocean views, and lots of people far more snobby than I am. I also would not mind going back to the Sunnyvale area. They have a bunch of great universitys nearby, Mr. Chow's Chinese fast food, the shoreline amphitheatre, etc. When you live in Silicon Valley you really get the feeling of being in the "it" spot. It is as if all the world sort of revolves around everything that happens there, like google, yahoo, apple, Lockheed martin etc. I want to be a part of the "it" community. Sacramento is neither hot nor cold when it comes to this. IT is neither rural, and it definitely doesn't have the rush of a big city to it. I also very much loved living in Pacifica. Being just 15 minutes south of San Francisco and lying between natural cliffs and the ocean, one can feel as if they are on their own island. The community, has virtually the same weather all year long, it will never be below 40, and never hotter than the 90's. I loved how the fog would roll in during the fall and be trapped by the cliffs, keeping our town in a sort of Stephen King like spookiness. I miss the Taco Bell at the beach where I used to sit and watch the people training for surfing wipe out. Half Moon bay, a spot notorious for surfing is less than an hours drive away.

Alas, here I am, stuck due to finances, obligations, University enrollments, and job security. While establishing roots early, like I have was an intelligent thing, it has made it very difficult to escape. Perhaps I should join the circus. Sadly, I am spooked by clowns. I know I must keep hope alive. It isn't as if I have never seen the world. I have been all over the northern hemisphere. It is a very nice perspective to have, when you complain about things that do not matter, like waiting in line at a grocery store (at least we can buy food), complaining about movie prices (it is a blessing to have so much disposable income), and weather or not the water is hot enough in the shower (many people will never see water so clean, and could care less about temperature).

After a recent slew of DNA tests on various relatives in my family, it has become known that my grandfather, whom oddly my father was named after, is not in fact the biological father of my dad. Apparently, my grandmother had relations with an Ashkenazi Jewish man. A person of a recently immigrated family from Ukraine. That makes me a whole lot of Jew considering my mother. This experience has been very mind opening to me. I am as white as they come, and for all I knew growing up, I was a textbook WASP. Now I know that I am Hebrew, from a region of the world where pogroms, rapes, and cullings were near annual practices inflicted upon the Jewish minority. As I researched more and more my family history, and the history of the Ukrainian Jew, I began to see things through the eyes of the Jewish, something I was ignorant of before. It is no wonder in today's world so many Jewish people regardless of sect are so hesitant to have anything to do with anything Christian. For the last 1700 years, Jews have been made to suffer in the name of Christianity. So I have a message for the world. Love one another. Aren't we all children of the same G-d. We are all genetically 99.9 percent the same. We are one of the least diverse species despite the way we look. Other animals do not commit genocide against themselves. It is funny how we consider ourselves so intelligent as human beings.

In other news, My taxes are done, I will get a lot of money back, and now I need to file the F.A.F.S.A. to get my financial aid. I guess around this time, which is my late junior year, I should really start looking into grad schools for history. I need to stay in the California area out of practicality, I am not for dorm living 3000 miles away. When I said I wanted a PHD I meant it. I want to be a professor (If of course i am not famous for being amazing). If a child fails in K-12 schools they blame teachers or parents. When a person fails in college, they say it is the students fault for not studying hard enough. I would rather teach at a college level. Of course I may find a great job outside the teaching world. That would be nice. Sadly hit man is too in demand right now and highly competitive. I don't have skills for much else sadly.

Here is the music video of the day
"Higher" by Creed


Creed MySpace Music Videos

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