At last that full feeling

On Thursday I received my 2CC's of saline into my gastric Lap-band. I had an appointment that apparently didn't matter to sutter general hospital. I had to wait an additional hour, due to who knows what, and they also chose to torture me, by making sure Judge Judy was on their waiting room TV with no remote control in sight. Eventually I did get to move into what looked to be a state of the art X-ray room, where they could X-ray in real time and the X-ray machine was a giant robot, with 6 TVs so the doctor could see different views and not be near the radiation. It took them 20 minutes to get the syringe into my access port. The whole time I was constantly X-rayed. This is how super hero's are made or possibly future 3 eyed children. At first I felt fine, I drank a cup of water for the nurses so they could see that I could hold it down. When I went home and tried to have a sandwich, not drinking anything as the diet says to do, I felt a lot of pain. I felt like I would explode. I learned a valuable lesson. As this lapband gets more and more full, I need to chew more and more and eat slower and slower. When I follow the diet and not drink with my meals (thus keeping food stuck in my pouch), I get full in a few bites and can stay that way for hours. The goal now is to train myself to recognise real hunger. I have started to notice more and more, how eating was so much a part of my routine. It is just weird to not be eating all around the day. I am at a loss. I guess this is what life will be like from now on. I will no longer eat out of boredom, or out of some mental comfort, where I try to fill a void with food. I will eat to get the hunger response to go away, to get nutrition. As the saying goes, "Eat to live not Live to eat." I expect to start shedding pounds very rapidly now.



In other news, some dork wad at either school or the hospital keyed my car to the metal real good on the back passenger side of my car. I have no idea what I did to this person that would make them want to try and ruin my paint job. I park within spaces correctly, I have a small car, not a giant truck. I don't look for a fight with people. It is sad really. I had to go to the Nissan dealer today and find matching paint, which for only a 1/2 ounce cost me 18 dollars. That is right, apparently automobile paint is worth its weight in street drugs. Oy Vey. I put rubbing compound on the scratches but they will need to be touched up with the paint I bought. This is why I want to take mixed martial arts classes again like in the military. Yes I am a big boy but I definitely want to learn a few more ways to beat the crap out of a potential aggressor. Perhaps even make the person who keyed my car, regret it.



I am being forced to watch another horrid movie in my recent American films class. After watching the orgy flick "Eyes wide shut", the depressing, "Rachel getting married", and the lesbian fight club rip off called, "Mulholland Drive", we are now being forced to have even more political garbage crammed down our throats with "Brokeback Mountain". So far these films have been picked apparently not for their technique or writing but how much they go against the mainstream middle. I don't want to be forced over and over again to watch gay people have sex in my film class. It was in 3 of the 6 movies we have watched. This dude, is obsessed with gay sex, and I am thinking about being that guy, and reporting him to the dean. This class is so far off track of having any real educational meaning, that I feel the students and the school are loosing money so my professor can cram his one sided, "Gay sex movie" agenda down my throat. I am in this college class to learn about film, not watch gay porn. Most teachers are lefty's meaning lean left. I don't care. Sometimes I lean left. The part that makes me want to jam a pencil in my ear, is when the teacher has something to prove, and his goal is not to teach a subject but to win a vote. Anyways, I will not write another sentence about this.

I have begun nourishing the kid within myself, and started buying Star Wars vehicles. I don't play with them, but they are fun to look at and wonder. I have always dreamed of going to space. I wonder if somewhere in the universe there are worlds like our own that have intelligent life, which have developed the ability to explore the universe. I took my new toy vehicles and hung them near a couple of posters in my room. Yes, I still have posters. I don't see why it is, that at 25 I cant have posters, or toys. I function just fine in the world, I went to war and did what needed to be done, I attend college and work at a job contributing to society. In some ways, I feel more adult than some 40 year old people. I also don't think having a baby necessarily makes a person a parent.

This pretty much sums up the highs and lows of my week. I hope very much for a beautiful ending to the life I have been given. The music video of the day is by the inspirational band "Barlow Girl" and the song is "Beautiful Ending"


Music video | Beautiful Ending video